A Descent into Madness and Violence

When they find me off Route 16, making nonverbal whimperings, with Edgar Renteria's button thread in my teeth, you may use this as exhibit A.

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Kristen: (11:04:51 PM): Annette will yell at us all for having secret conversations. Heh, we're all planning to overthrow some monarchy.
Emma(11:05:02 PM): heh.
E (11:05:38 PM): If we do that, can we send Edgar as point man on our first suicide mission?
K (11:06:48 PM): yes, and we will cover him in honey and use him as a decoy for killer bears
K (11:07:02 PM): that doesn't even make sense, i am just frustrated with him
E (11:07:18 PM): And then give him a really loud cell phone..and call him in the evil lair.....
K (11:08:00 PM): ARGH
E (11:08:51 PM): Okay, Chavez isn' t cute anymore. I hereby give him the evil eye, and boils or something.
K (11:09:17 PM): also, papercuts
E (11:10:23 PM): And Durazo doesn't get to be named after a seraphim. He gets rennamed Azrael.

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Though there were bright spots:

E (11:14:35 PM): They should make a superhero series starring Billy. With Youk as his youthful ward.
K (11:15:08 PM): Only if they wear capes and tights
E (11:15:52 PM): and tuxedos. Must not forget the formal wear.
K(11:16:05 PM): naturally

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And moments of ratonality:

E(11:17:20 PM): The name Ginter always sounds sort of serial-killer-ish.
K (11:17:34 PM): I would buy that.
E (11:18:23 PM): *starts constructing a Eric Chavez voodoo doll*
K (11:18:54 PM): don't forget the bamboo shoots
E (11:19:14 PM): Ginter is one of those too unassuming, too normal Midwestern names, attached to people who end up having skin suits in their basements.
K (11:19:35 PM): yeah, he has a lotion basket, that's for sure


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Along with moments that were downright pornagraphic:
E (11:23:40 PM): AGAIN WITH THE FALLING DOWN? DAMNIT!
E (11:24:54 PM): They need to make outfield walls made of jello, just for Johnny.
K (11:25:08 PM): JD sees something, another teammate, a wall, an otherwise stationary object, and he thinks "I wonder if I can move this with my head."
E (11:26:33 PM): I just had a very dirty but funny though involving Mrs. Damon and that sentence. In two separate ways.
K (11:27:16 PM): heee


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Then came the audiovisual hallucinations:
E (11:39:49 PM): I think I have a ghost in my room. And he's pissed at the Sox.
E (11:40:24 PM): There's been random noises after pivotal at-bats.
K (11:41:04 PM): I have one of those too! Except it's in my ceiling.
E(11:41:54 PM): Actually, I think it may be Rodney. Because one just came from my closet.
E (11:42:39 PM): RODNEY HARRISON SAYS "YOU BACK UP YOUR PITCHER OR SEY, VRABEL AND I WILL COME BEAT YOU UP!"
K (11:43:24 PM): And Big Willie Style. he's in on it too
E (11:43:39 PM): Must not Forget Willie.


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Punctuated by moments of self-awareness and reflection:
E (11:44:09 PM): Why do the Sox make me so violent?
E (11:44:25 PM): I'm normally a good Quaker.
K (11:46:03 PM): I was wondering that myself. I was having an existential crisi because they'd made me so tired with all the rage that I couldn't work up enough energy to be angry enough to throw things
E (11:47:00 PM): I forgot to close my window, so I probably freaked out any random person wandering in the courtyard. Fortunately, my roommate is not here, so I don't have to worry about that.


*******
Around the 7th, there was a moment of hope, a moment of light:
K (11:54:46 PM): Now THAT is what we do with the bases loaded
E (11:54:47 PM): PAPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K (11:56:03 PM): you know what? b's not gonna lose this game. no matter what.
E(11:56:28 PM): That gives me the warm fuzzies.
E (11:58:28 PM): Ooooh....IBB for Trotter.....
Disrespecting the Captain....know what that means....
K (11:58:45 PM): They are disprespecting the Tek.
K (11:58:58 PM): Such bullshit. JASON VARITEK, MAKE ME CALL MY BROTHER!
E (11:59:18 PM): MAKE THEM PAY!!!!
K (12:00:01 AM): the jersey is on
K (12:00:05 AM): and i'm not even kidding
E (12:00:06 AM): YOU ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING CAPTAIN!!!! SEND THIS BABY HOME TO HIS MOTHER!!!
E (12:00:41 AM): SHOW THEM YOU ARE NOT TO BE INTENTIONALLY WALKED IN FRONT OF!
E (12:00:54 AM): bleah.


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But then, the final pitiful descent into insanity:
E (12:01:56 AM): AGGGGGGH.
K (12:02:00 AM): I hate this team.
E (12:02:04 AM): YOU IMPOTENT BASTARDS.
E (12:02:59 AM): If I were the Red Sox girlfriend, I would be arrested for domestic violence.
K (12:04:17 AM): i would beat all of them. each and every one
K (12:04:31 AM): oh wait, b's still in
K (12:05:04 AM): they have officially made me stupid
E(12:05:35 AM): b would not get beaten. because he's my Red Sox baby daddy. I decree it. He has replaced Mantei.

.....

E (12:19:31 AM): JOHNNY DAMON, YOU FUCKING SUCK! NOW DO SOMETHING, PLEASE!
E (12:20:45 AM): okay. walks are good. baserunners are good.
K (12:21:22 AM): edgah will hit into a triple play. just for shits and giggles
E (12:21:43 AM): because he hates me and wants to make me cry.
K (12:22:11 AM): EDGAH! DO NOT MAKE EMMA CRY!
E (12:22:51 AM): *shrieks*
E (12:23:01 AM): *does not cry*
K (12:23:20 AM): argh
E (12:24:19 AM): *on verge of pulling hair out*
E (12:25:03 AM): I am making noises not known to humans.
K (12:26:22 AM): what bloody inning is it?
E (12:27:26 AM): Bottom 8th. And BRONSON WILL GET YET ANOTHER FUCKING NO_DECISION!
K (12:28:02 AM): urhg

.....

K (12:38:18 AM): someone will die soon
K (12:38:20 AM): by my hand
E(12:38:37 AM): and i will help.
E (12:38:52 AM): sharp and pointy and metallic.
K (12:38:59 AM): and dipped in poison
E (12:39:04 AM): plus bludgeoning.
K (12:39:21 AM): with something blunt
E (12:39:22 AM): with my textbooks.
E (12:40:44 AM): and don't forget the flamethrowers.
E (12:42:59 AM): crank up the lighter fluid.....
K (12:43:16 AM): hatey, hate, hateration
E (12:43:22 AM): manny's on the list.
E(12:43:41 AM): they are all on the list.


You see what West Coast Roadtrips do? The combination of late nights and FRUSTRATING BASEBALL TEAMS is not a good one.