Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A Weekend In Baseball, or Summer Mom-Blogging, Edition One

Friday: Loss To Yankees, 6-3

EST: 7 pm.
Location: Amtrak Train 175, Somewhere Outside New York City

*Began listening to Sterling/Waldman on WCBS, and immediately go into Castiglione withdrawal. However, the conclusion is soon reached that though Sterling is a homer, he is nowhere near as bad as Michael Kay.

*Listened to several innings of Sox getting on base against Johnson, and then squandering. Freaked out seatmate rather badly with hitting of head against Plexiglass window. (Note: Mine, not his.)

*Cursed the maternal ancestors of the inventor of the AM radio for it's complete inadequacy in listening underground, resulting in sitting in Penn Station for an hour without baseball.

*8pm: Seatmate asleep. Woke him up again with Boisterous Dance of Joy as result of Jason Varitek's homerun. Apologized unsincerely.

*Spent cab ride home from Trenton Station angling insufficent radio so as to reach reception.

*Reached home domicile. Greeted by Maternal Entity with hugs, promises of pizza and a Sox lead. Reciprocated with the Yastrzemski number tee obtained at Fenway a week ago.


*Reproached Wake for being un-Wake-like; expressed extreme displeasure with Alan Embree for continued suckage, as evidenced by 3-run homer to Sheffield.

*Maternal Entity exclaims "Cuidado! HALAMA!!!" at appropriate time. Excellent.

*Had sincere discussion with Maternal Entity on subject of hating Yankees and hating Yankees. Agrees with me in regards to Matsui. However:
E:Sheffield. Especially with that GODDAMN BAT WAGGLE.
ME: But Millar does it too.
E: Well, I don't hate him, so it's okay.
ME: *look*

Saturday: Sox, 17-1

* Maternal Entity out grocery shopping. Brief loss of mental function, resulting in the watching of 10 unforced minutes of YES. Remembered that it was actually on Fox today.....prospect of BucCarver did not incite one to turn channel very fast.

* Run has been scored by time of tune-in. Matty strikes out side in top of the first. Moreover, makes Sheffield look silly. (Always important.)

*Pavano does not look as good. Only lasts until the 3rd inning. Score: 5-0. The Maternal Entity returns with groceries.

* Explanation to Maternal Entity of trade machinations resulting in return of Mike Stanton to Yankees. Subsequent debate on how much Felix Heredia must have sucked to be traded for this guy.

*Edgar hits a GRAND SLAM. Much dancing and scaring of the cat ensues. Score 9-0.

*Quantrill stays in. Gives up subsequent 3-run dinger to Trot Nixon. Stays in. Gives up subsequent 2-Run dinger to Jay Payton. Maternal Entity: "Is Quantrill being punished, or something?"

* WOTS is finally put in. Russ Johnson at third. Rey Sanchez at short. Scrub time. Does not stop Yanks from giving up 4 more runs. Final score 17-1. Am exhausted with glee, along with Maternal Entity.

*Decide to savor today's joy, as tomorrow looks to be awful.

Sunday: Sox Win, 7-3.

*Return from 2nd viewing (me) and 3rd viewing (ME and The Sibling) of Revenge of The Sith. Is as wicked awesome as remembered.

*Debate upon how Mike Mussina is the least Moose-like pitcher in American League.

*Mental preparation for the David Wells awfulness.

* Much ecstasy over the continued awesomeness of Edgar Renteria. Papi, with Edgar on base, hits into Yankee Stadium upper deck. Because Papi is hot like Mango Salsa. 2-0.

* Vitriol and hatred spewed at television as result of TWO FIRST INNING NEARLY BACK TO BACK SOLO HOMERS DAVID WELLS!!!! 2-2.

* Edgar homers into left field porch. Papi homers into black centerfield seats.
Result: Tuneless rendition of "Anything You Can Do We Can Do BETTER!" directed from living room towards Yankee dugout.

* David Wells's bacon saved by 1) awesome Johnny Damon catch ( without crashing into anything), and 2) two straight inning-ending double plays.
E: "He should go out and buy his infield a bottle of scotch."
ME: "Each".
E: "Because they just saved his butt."
ME: "Which was large and needed considerable saving."

*Scoring of 3 more runs off reliever CM Wang.
E: "How is he in the bullpen? He's in the rotation for Wright, right?"
ME: "Wang."
(Note: Due to off-days, Wang is IN FACT still in the rotation, ME's feeble attempt at puns not-withstanding.)

* Dicussion upon the merits of Kelly Shoppach's thighs vs. those of Jason Varitek.

*Expressed displeasure with Millar and his continued NOT HITTING. Also possibly said: "I miss Olerud already."

* Many plays which were met with the reaction:
"How about our third baseman, huh?"

*Contrite apologies to David Wells after a quality 8 and 1/3 inning outing. No promises to not re-hate him if he sucks next time.

Monday: Orioles Win, 8-1.

I choose not to write about this game, because
a) They lost
b) String Bean is my guy, and he'll get over it
c) CUIDADO! HALAMA! ( Who did well.)
but mostly