Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Data Not Processing


No. No. No. No. No.

Adam Vinatieri cannot not be the kicker for the Pats. He can't be kicking for the Football Spawn of Satan, Indianapolis Chapter.

I swear, when Beth emailed this morning about her clairvoyant dream predicting this, it was amusing. I mean, even if he ended up going anywhere ( which at the time was far in the future), it wouldn't be with the Colts. Right? RIGHT?

But it came true. If I wasn't so shocked, the sheer eerieness of that would blow my mind.

And I've been trying to process it here for 4 hours now. And it just won't. It's like in Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (book, not movie), when Ford tells Arthur that Earth has been destroyed. His brain won't deal with it, because it's just too huge to process. So he starts with smaller things, like McDonald''s burgers.

Maybe that would help.

Adam's cluch right leg is gone to Indy....no, not working.

His shoes are gone to Indy....nope.

No more Papa Gino's commercials......OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Did Theo and Belichick just suddenly get together this week and decide "What can we do simultaneously, to ensure the greatest portion of our fanbases' heads collectively EXPLODE?"

I wish it was not a horribly bad idea to get drunk on Tuesday night during midterms. Stupid responsiblity.