A Medium To Large Size Can of Whoop-Ass
12 of 13.
MARK BELLHORN as player of the game.
John Kruk calling us the "class of the AL East".
On one hand I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. On the other, of the two teams likely to wield said shoe, one just got swept by the Braves, the beat-up Braves who are being carried by the suddenly Troy Brown-esque Andruw Jones and nobody else. And the other dropped three of four to the Devil Rays, and would have been swept by their crosstown rivals if not for the extreme suckage of the Mets bullpen. DAMMNIT, Mets! If the frickin' Devil Rays bullpen can hold a 2 run lead against the Yankees, why can't you?
So I don't really have any confidence in the potential shoe-wielders. Especially since we're going right now like Deputy Jones on Reno 911, all "I will beat your ass with your own shoe!!"
Speaking of, how great was Tito's Philly homecomeing?
S'all, " Who's "You Suck Franconya" now? WHAT"S MY NAME, BITCHES? SAY MY MOTHERFUCKING NAME!"
But not really because Tito's nicer then that. And also more subtle.
I think I will actually miss Interleague, not for pitchers batting, but for Papi starting sweeeeet 3-6-1 double plays. Maybe pitchers batting too, if only for loving the spectacle of Padilla walking Matty Clement to load the bases after INTENTIONALLY PASSING BELLHORN.
And I am not my mother. I LIKED winning like we did on Friday and Saturday. Though they are my semi-hometown Phillies, I am glad we swept their asses.
I would have preferred NOT BLOWING A SEVEN RUN LEAD. Screw letting them making a good showing. I would have preferred foot to the throat throttling.
Hear that BOOMER?
You got me this mad, better be a fucking no hitter next time. Basehit, my ass.
Bullpen- You best go out and buy your offense several large bottles of scotch, or, in the case of Mr. Bellhorn, well, I'll leave that to you.
Homecoming tonight. String Bean, back in Fenway, against the Indians team he slapped around last week. Going for 8 straight wins. Life don't get no better than this. Or maybe it does. Let's see.