Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Summer Mom-Blogging V.2.0

Game Time: T-Minus 1hr 30 min

Am returning home on the bus from work, with sore, nearly sprained wrist. (If you wonder how in the world you can nearly sprain a wrist scooping ice cream, you're not alone.) Wonder idly if there's televised baseball tonight. Am told by Maternal Entity that there will actually be SOX on TV tonight, versus the Indians. Dance of Joy results.

Bottom 1st
For the first time, it is the Maternal Entity who's freaking out over David Wells in a first inning two out jam, and me who is calm. I feel especially superior. Even when he gives up a run. Because I am calm, and superior.

Top 2nd
Buckethead SWINGS AND FLYS OUT ON THE GODDAMN FIRST PITCH. My new found calm superiority is gone.

Bottom 2nd
Maternal Entity notices resemblance of Indian catcher Victor Martinez to Pedro, and wonders if he is related, as they are both Domincan. She then proceeds to order me to find out. Brief bickering over whether she can actually do that. Result: He is NOT Pedro's cousin.

Top 3rd
Jay Payton is so good as to get a leadoff double. He is then stranded there. I restrain myself from throwing things. Poor JP.

Bottom 3rd
Boomer manages a 1-2-3 inning. Much rejoicing.

Top 4th
Edgah whacks a leadoff double. There is universal prayer that we do not yet again waste said leadoff double. Papi seems to hear. Mannylito answers said prayer with a pretty pretty 3-run homer to left. Manny gets a cookie.

Bottom 4th
Boomer is seemingly jealous of Manny's cookie, as he proceeds to erase the homer and the 2 run lead with 3 ER of his own. Bad Boomer. Go sit in the corner.

Top 5th
The 8-9-1 guys continue the beating up of Sabathia. Bellhorn lays down some baserunning knowledge on our poor asses, sliding beautifullly around home plate to score a run and extend the inning.
Me: "Respect The BELL!"
Mom: "Ding,Dong!"
Me: "What the hell was that?"
And then when I did again , she did it again. My mother is crazy, y'all.
Tek honors the Bell, by putting up a Game 6 style homer to center field. Just gets over the wall, originally thought a double, then ruled a homer. Go umps.

Bottom 6th
Myers in for Boomer. Almost immediately gets the grounder which should be the first out. It is, however, BOOTED by Bellhorn. Bellhorn then starts a double play on the next grounder. The Bell giveth, the Bell taketh away.

Myers seems to have caught Boomer's pathogical inability to get the third out. Timlin comes in, allows one runner to score, but gets the third out, finally.

Bottom 7th
Meanwhile, Jacobs Field has become filled with gnats. Leading to the following conversation:
Mom: "Look at the creatures in the bullpen."
Me: "What, Timlin and Foulke?"
Mom: *pause* "Nice comeback."
Me: "Thank you."

Top 8th
ESPN2 shows Johnny leaning with his head on Manny's shoulder. Awwwww.

Bottom 8th
Embree comes in. "Uh-oh." He does not prove me wrong, unfortunately, giving up a two-run homer to Travis Hafner, and making this game much to close for comfort at 9-7. Foulke comes in, and shows again his aversion to one run leads, giving up another homer, this time to Victor"Not Pedro's Cousin" Martinez. Then, and only then, comes the third out. Sox, 9-8.

Top 9th
Unfrozen Caveman Baseball Player hits a homer. There is much rejoicing. Manny hits a solid single, but gets thrown out by a mile trying to stretch it to a double, ending the inning. There is much gnashing of teeth, especially when Manny is shown smiling.

Bottom 9th
A walk and a couple singles have made it 10-9, and Foulkie continues unimpeded on his quest to drive me insane. My mother has one of the pillows pressed in front of her face. I have put a blanket over my head.
FINALLY: Johnny makes a running catch. The game ends.

Well, at least it wasn't boring...